1. I hope that when I'm older, I'm not attracted to teenage girls. I was talking to my pilot friend the other day at a bar, he is 29 and was explaining to me that its no big deal for him to date a 17 year old if he wanted to. He was making me physically ill. Now I will agree, some of these teens look like full grown adults with their premature developed chests and toned legs but the difference in emotional and mental capacity is disgusting. What the fuck would a 29 year old talk about with a 17 year old? Nothing. I think my friend is a pervert and I may have to keep an eye on him. But then again, maybe it's something we all go through as we get older, I'm not attracted to teens but maybe when I'm 29 I will be. I hope not.
I've said it once, I'll say it again. Please stop pumping chicken with hormones so I can stop accidentally hitting 16 year olds.
Every time I do this I go home and vomit, and then slam my penis under Infinite Jest.
2. I have successfully made it three quarters of the way through dating off season. At least that is my current scapegoat for a nonexistent love life. In case you are unaware, dating off season takes place from Thanksgiving to Valentines Day and the whole idea is that you won't have to meet parents or buy gifts so early in the relationship. Plus, it seems easier to fall head over heels for someone when it's cold and Christmas music is playing. I've been following these rules for several years now because the last time I started dating someone in November, it ended in disaster. Kind of a blow your load all at once type thing. We were obsessed with each other, it was romantic, and then we became bored in March. One more month to go, I must stay strong.
Do you think dating off season is a good idea?